I got drunk, but not CRUNK

I failed to get crunk, because I was too piss-poor of spirit to try. But "blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven," or so I am told. I'm not so sure. I think it might be more like "blessed are the freak assholes who go buy a bottle of maximum strength Robitussin cough syrup at Family Dollar, slam it, and then trip THE HELL OUT for 4 hours, followed by the ingestion of huge amounts of beer (and possibly trying to drive and hitting a "no truck parking" sign). Fuck a truck anyway.