Today's totally FREE IDEA

As you know, I am a GOD DAMN GENIUS. Like Forrest Gump. And as part of that whole package, I constantly think of million dollar ideas every day. But, of course, since the system you idiots choose to live under and praise to the skies is capitalism, it is impossible for me to pursue any of my ideas. I have already invented half the shit you use now, but patents cost fuck-trucks of money, in case you didn't know. Don't believe me? Well, how about that shit where you scan a code with your smart phone and it brings up a web page? I invented that almost a decade ago, among other things. So, as a protest against your stupidity and the stupid stupidness of the stupid-ass system your dumb fucking asses have shat out upon us all, I sometimes give away free ideas worth a million dollars or more. Just because I hate you that much. Here's today's. Enjoy your millions, whoever does this. While trying to talk to my wife in the stairwell, I leaned a little too far to the left and busted my giant-ass Next Level head right against the the top of the god damn doojamb. Needless to say, this shit hurt, but within a matter of of nanoseconds (which, for an android, is practically an eternity), I envisioned a product which would prevent all such whacks to the noggin forever. It is simply a piece of cushioned foam-rubber (or some other snappy-looking shit) with an adhesive backing, ready to be applied to any surface to prevent head-banging (MEGADETH!!!!!!), toe-stubbing, or other minor misfortunes. Give it a catchy name and maybe I'll buy it in the "As Seen On TV Aisle" someday. Thank me later (ie never).